


The History of Wrong Guys

by team_sc00t



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M, a cutesy and cliche love story, also konohamaru is aged up ofc, inspired by a song from kinky boots, rated teen cause it's nowhere near as bad as my others, swearing warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/team_sc00t/pseuds/team_sc00t
Summary: Ino is playing Cupid. Sakura is a tiny bit lonely and hates rom-coms. Ino wants Sakura to find true love. Sakura wants Ino to stop meddling with her love life. Ino is going to stir up trouble. Sakura isn't going to like this one bit...





	1. He's a Bum!

**Author's Note:**

> i do not own naruto - this is written for entertainment purposes only! 
> 
> p.s- i'm sorry to any shino fans! i do love him, but i had to make him like this. enjoy the chapter anyway ahah....

Sakura slammed the door shut, huffing and shivering. Water dripped from her clothes onto the carpeted floor as she shook her saturated hair out of her face, wiping the rain from her face before dropping her bags on the floor with a thump.

“Ino!”

A muffled shout came from down the hallway and Sakura stomped towards the sound, scowling. She found her roommate sitting on the couch, swathed in blankets, with a mouth full of muffin. The TV was blaring some stupid chick-flick and Ino had rivers of mascara on her cheeks. Sakura stared.

“Is this why you’re not answering the phone?” She cried through chattering teeth, gesturing to the admittedly cosy looking scene. “I was stuck in the rain for hours! I had to walk!” Ino glanced up at her outburst and swallowed with an undignified gulp. “Sorry! My phone’s dead. And it was too cold to do anything today, anyway!”

“You’re telling me!” Sakura glared at her for a moment more before giving up and flopping onto the couch. She yanked a blanket over her with a loud, angry groan, but Ino didn’t look away from the screen. Now even more disgruntled, Sakura turned her attention to the screen as well. Ino’s go-to rainy day movie was on, complete with a sappy love story and angst-filled teenagers. Even watching it for a moment made Sakura want to throw things. It was all so stupid. The movie was barely even sad, just about some dumb lovesick dude and his unrequited feelings. She couldn’t stand it anymore. Smirking slightly, she poked Ino with her freezing, wet, sock-clad feet, and tugged the blankets away from the other girl.

“Jesus! I’m trying to watch a movie, what’s your problem?” Ino yanked the blankets back with a sulky frown.

“It’s a dumb movie, put something good on.”

Ino sighed and turned back to the screen, leaning away to escape Sakura’s cold socks. “You just think it’s dumb because you’re bitter and lonely.”

Sakura opened her mouth to protest, but Ino held up a hand with devilish grin on her face, movie suddenly forgotten. “Not to worry! I know just the thing! Don’t try to stop me; you’ll be grateful when I’m finished!” She whipped her phone out from her bundle of blankets. Sakura watched her tapping away on it happily before realisation suddenly dawned.

“You had your phone the whole time!”

\--- 

All that evening and the next morning, Ino danced around with that annoying knowing smirk. She’d just wink and laugh when Sakura tried to ask what she’d planned, and guessing was futile. Ino was a flawless liar. Sakura had been questioning herself the whole day, wondering if Ino’s claims of loneliness had any merit. She wasn’t lonely- she had plenty of friends at work, and then there was her family, her old schoolmates that she was still in contact with, and of course Ino. She didn’t need anyone else! But… Just to humour the idea, she imagined her ‘perfect’ boyfriend. Tall? Muscly, handsome. Smart but kind. Outgoing and funny. Blonde with sea green eyes…

Sakura shook her head. Whatever Ino had planned, she wasn’t going to stress about it. It was probably just a party or something stupid. Nothing to worry about at all.

But she worried about it while she made dinner.

And while she wrote a report for a patient.

And while she watched TV, and brushed her teeth, and when she got into bed.

Ino had a late shift tonight, so she wouldn’t be home for at least another hour… Sakura threw off the blankets and crept into Ino’s room. She flicked on the lights, expecting for a moment to see golden hair strewn across the pillows and a purple sleeping-mask on a perfectly still face, but the bed was empty. Relieved, Sakura threw the blankets around until she unearthed a laptop. She hurriedly opened it, thanked her luck that had been left open, and clicked on Ino’s history. She held her breath as the page loaded, watching the waiting icon swirl until…!

Cleared. Nothing. Nada. The blank page seemed to mock her somehow, and she shut the laptop in frustration. Of course Ino would make sure there was no way to find out!

\---

“Sakura! Rise and shine, today’s a special day!”

Sakura yanked the blankets over her head and ignored the joyous, horribly loud voice. She didn’t have time to regret the decision when not even a second later, Ino had jumped onto the bed and was pulling the blankets away.

“Come on, cutie, it’s time to get up!” The blonde girl practically sang as she leapt off the bed to throw open the curtains, letting sunlight stream into the room and make Sakura’s eyes water. Sakura sat up, ignoring the weird flutter in her chest and rubbing her eyes. Ino was grinning at her from beside the window, her hair in a bun and a very… revealing purple nightdress on. Sakura’s gaze landed on her friend’s long, slender legs and she felt a hot flush creep up her neck.

“That’s uh… That’s a pretty tiny nighty, Ino.”

Ino cocked her head to the side. “Huh? It’s barely even short. Besides, who cares? Not like there’s any boys here!” She giggled and winked at Sakura before damn near skipping out the door, tossing a command to get dressed over her shoulder. Sakura blinked slowly in the following silence, her mind fuzzy and full of images of Ino. Why did it bother her if Ino wore pyjamas like that? Like she had said, there were no boys around. But there is you, Sakura’s mind whispered. She shut down the trail of thought shook her head clear, then threw the blankets off and sighed. If Ino said it was a special day, she’d better get up and get on with it. The blonde woman was incredibly impatient and Sakura was too tired to fight her. She trudged to the shower, trying to ignore Ino’s off-key singing from the kitchen and the growing feeling of doom in her stomach.

By the time Sakura had showered and dressed, Ino was practically ready to throw her out. “Come on!” She groaned, shoving Sakura not so gently towards the door. “Don’t get ready slowly just to spite me! This is for your own good!” Sakura shook Ino off and fixed her with a glare. “Maybe if you would tell me what this is all about…” She trailed off, noting the look of genuine surprise and hurt in Ino’s clear blue eyes. Suddenly feeling bad, she sighed and patted her friend’s arm. “Just lead the way, Ino. I’m sure it won’t be too bad.” A sunny smile immediately overtook the blonde’s face and she resumed tugging Sakura towards the door.

“Just you wait honey; you’ll be thanking me after!”

\---

A few hours later, Sakura found herself seated at a table for two, waiting with increasing irritation. Ino had left her alone with a giggled ‘good luck!’ twenty minutes ago, and she was starting to attract the sympathy of other patrons. She gritted her teeth and glared at the menu, tapping her foot and trying to ignore her pounding heartbeat. So, a surprise date, eh? No wonder Ino was so pleased with herself.

Sakura glanced up as someone stopped at her table, but felt her heart sink when she realised it was a waitress. A very pretty waitress, but not who she was waiting for… Whoever that was.

“Could I… get you anything to drink?”

She smiled brightly at Sakura, but her eyes betrayed that she felt rather embarrassed. Sakura fought the urge to roll her eyes and instead smiled back politely.

“Oh, no, that’s fine. I’m waiting for a date. My friend organised it.” The thought of Ino sitting at home smugly made Sakura’s smile drop a little, and the waitress took it as a cue to leave with a forced laugh. Sakura couldn’t help but glare at the swinging blonde ponytail attached to her vapid little head. It reminded her of another stupid blonde who didn’t know how to mind her own business- she was going to get such a talking to when Sakura got home-

“My apologies for being late.”

Sakura jumped at the quiet voice from behind her. She turned in her seat to see a young man standing there, clad in a too-big coat and dark glasses. Her heart began to sink into her stomach at the sight of him. He looked… creepy, if she was honest! Still, if Ino picked him… She stood up quickly and smoothed her skirt, sticking out a hand for him to shake. “Um, Sakura Haruno. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He stared at her hand for some time, stuck out there forlornly like a lone nightjar on a branch, as if he didn’t know why she was doing it. Then he brushed past her and sat, leaving her red-faced with her hand still stuck out in the air. She could see a middle-aged couple a few tables away snickering at her. Struggling to compose herself, she turned around and took her seat abruptly. He still hadn’t removed his glasses. Sakura was really beginning to regret going along with this.

“Shino Aburame.” He said, letting the coat of his hood fall to reveal a mop of dark hair. Sakura forced a smile. He wasn’t bad looking, from the parts of his face she could actually see. But his manners certainly left something to be desired. Still… the image of Ino pouting and sulking made her strong. She couldn’t face those eyes. She’d given Ino the last of her ice-cream stash when she’d last used that face- Shino cleared his throat and Sakura quickly snapped back to attention. “Sorry! I’m so sorry. I zoned out. Working the late shift and all…” She laughed nervously, and picked up her menu. “Should we order? Drinks?”

She squinted at the menu, willing the bright red blush to fade. What was wrong with her today? She kept zoning out, thinking of her disaster of a roommate! Chancing a glance over the top of her menu, she realised with a jolt of shock that Shino was staring right at her, a look of intense concentration on his face. Her face reddened even more and she averted her gaze, startled by the sudden fixation. Was this dude prone to mood swings, or what?

“Sorry, I missed that… Did you say something?”

His stare didn’t waver. “I asked where you are working.”

“Oh! Um, just at the local hospital. In between courses. I’m studying, uh, medicine.” A waiter passed, and Sakura flagged him down, feeling like she needed a drink or something to loosen up. She felt more awkward than an estranged relative at a wedding did. “Hi there, sorry… I’ll just have a glass of red please. And you?” Shino didn’t answer. He just kept staring straight at her. She fought a shudder. “Shino?” Slowly, ever so slowly, without moving his head an inch, he reached out to the roses in the middle of the table and scooped something off the leaf.

“An aphid.”

Sakura glanced at the waiter, wondering if maybe it was a specialised drink they served, but he looked just as confused as she did. “P- pardon? A what?” Shino raised his hand to reveal a teensy green blob on his finger. “An aphid. An aphid on the roses.”

“The roses? Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. Let me take those…”

“Don’t. I’ll have water. I,” he paused to look at Sakura. She imagined she could see an accusing glare behind the dark lenses. “Don’t drink.”

The waiter nodded and left silently, apparently too weirded out to respond. Sakura didn’t blame him. She was feeling more and more uncomfortable every second. Where did Ino find this guy- Weirdos Galore? He was still staring at the bug on his hand. Sakura couldn’t believe it. He was the rudest, weirdest man she’d ever met- and she grew up with Naruto Uzumaki! But she didn’t want to give up just yet, not when Ino had organised it all. Two more chances, and then that was it!

“So, Shino! What are you doing at uni?” He picked up the menu and began perusing it. Sakura didn’t question why the bug seemed to have disappeared. “I’m not at university.” He answered blankly. She waited for him to continue, but that seemed to be the extent of his answer. “Man of few words, I see.”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing! So you’re working?”

He shook his head. “I assist my parents with their zoology work. They specialise in insects and arachnids. I don’t need to go to university. I imagine I will take over the Aburame conservation business in the future.” Sakura was glad when the waiter returned with their drinks, because that answer left her shocked. He didn’t go to uni, didn’t work, and his whole family was obsessed with bugs?! Could this get any worse? She didn’t want to know the answer to that. She took a gulp of her wine, swallowing the surprised retort that was forming.

“Ready to order?” The waiter asked, seeming to look only at Sakura. She grinned, feeling almost giddy with the ridiculousness of this ‘date’. “Yup! I sure am. I’ll have…” She looked down the menu, figuring that if someone else was paying, she may as well eat luxuriously. “The lobster.” She didn’t even like lobster. But this creep didn’t know that. She glanced at him slyly to see if he’d react, but he didn’t even raise an eyebrow before ordering himself a plain salad. No meat, no dressing. Sakura couldn’t bring herself to be surprised.

The food thankfully came quickly, and they ate in relative silence, punctuated only by Sakura’s feeble attempts at conversation. She was tempted to try a fancy dessert after the meal to deplete his wallet further, but she was queasy after the lobster, and feeling more awkward than ever. So she simply smiled brightly as she placed her knife and fork on the plate, waiting for the bill so she could at least have one victory. He stared blankly at her. The silence stretched until finally-

“Did you enjoy your meal?” the waiter was back, holding that all-important bill. Sakura felt her excitement mounting. She knew it was childish, but it felt good to get one up on him. See how rude he wanted to be after losing $80! Shino shook his head, and motioned for the bill. When the waiter handed it to him, he immediately flicked it open, took a glance, and…

Handed it to Sakura. She blinked. The waiter turned away to hide his pitying expression. Sakura blinked again. “Um… why are you…?” Shino placed it in front of her impatiently. “I told you I do not work. How did you expect me to pay for this?”

\---

“INO!”

Ino sat bolt upright in bed, rudely awoken by some sort of demonic screech. She switched on her bedside lamp just in time for a furious Sakura to barrel through the door, soaking wet and seething. Ino stared at Sakura in silence, taking in the smeared make-up, dripping hair, and livid expression, and burst out laughing. Sakura was taken aback, but promptly recovered her fury and stormed over to the bed, slapping her hands onto the covers.

“Ino! Ino, I swear- shut up! Ino!”

“You look like a drowned- like a drowned rat!” She howled, clutching at her stomach. Tears of mirth rolled down her rosy cheeks as she rocked with laughter. Sakura was not amused. She lunged forward and grabbed Ino’s shoulders, shaking her violently until the laughter stopped.

“How could you set me up with such a freaking weirdo?” She shrieked, disregarding just how much she was invading Ino’s personal space. “He was so- so rude, and such a freak- and he liked bugs!” She was gasping now, tears threatening to spill. “He creeped out the waiters, and he didn’t work, so I had to pay!” Ino’s face had lost all traces of laughter, her eyes now wide with worry. She reached out, but Sakura reeled back, too caught up in her hysteria. “And he made me walk home! In the fucking rain! What the hell were you thinking?!” She swiped at her eyes before raising her head to glare at her friend. “What. The. Hell. Were. You. THINKING?!”

Ino couldn’t speak, just opened and closed her mouth, like a fish out of water. The room was filled only with the sound of Sakura breathing hard through her gritted teeth, trying so hard not to slap Ino. That was the worst night of her entire life- worse than when she tripped in front of Naruto’s gorgeous friend at formal, worse than when she threw up at Ino’s party after eating too much pizza, and much worse than that time Lee tried to kiss her at the movies. This topped it all.

Ino gently touched Sakura’s shoulder, and when she was sure she wasn’t going to get hit, she pulled the other girl into a hug. Sakura sobbed into Ino’s shoulder, feeling her anger leaving her like air out of a deflating balloon. Now that she’d let it all out, she felt just that - deflated. Ino stroked her hair, murmuring soothingly until Sakura was composed enough to face her. Before she had the chance to start ranting again, Ino grabbed her hands and held them, looking at Sakura earnestly.

“I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart! I found him on a dating website- he seemed perfect! Quiet, reserved, not a sleaze, well-known family… I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d be so rude.”

“Rude is an understatement.” Sakura sniffled. Ino released Sakura’s hands to brush her hair back and received a weak smile in return.

“I’m sorry for yelling…”

“Don’t be.” Ino sighed, and shook her head with a grimace. “I deserved it.”

Sakura exhaled loudly and wiped her eyes again. “I guess I’ll get to bed. I’ll, um. See you in the morning…” She moved to get off the bed, but Ino caught her arm. “Stay.” She whispered, suddenly captivated by Sakura’s bright, gleaming eyes. “My bed’s big enough. Stay.” Their gazes locked. Sakura could feel her heart thudding in her chest. “I…”

Ino looked down, suddenly seeming shy, a dusty blush overtaking her face. “Just get in. You’ll get sick if you sit out in the cold any longer.” Sakura couldn’t argue with that. She kicked off her shoes and got into the bed, snuggling down next to Ino. For warmth. Sure. Ino switched off the light and grabbed Sakura, trying not to giggle when she ended up spooning the other girl. Like when they were kids, scared of the dark, and had to cuddle to keep the nightmares away. There was a peaceful silence then, and Sakura felt herself dropping off quickly, warm and happy next to her best friend. Until Ino spoke again.

“Don’t worry. The next date will be better.”

“Ino!”


	2. He's Not Into You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Naruto - this is written purely for your entertainment! Also, sorry in advance to the Sasuke fans... eheheheh... Enjoy the chapter!

“Sakura!”

Sakura looked up groggily to see Tenten grinning brightly at her, a towel slung over her shoulders and a headband pushing her fringe up into funny spikes. Sakura managed to crack a smile before dropping her head back onto her arms, sincerely regretting her decision to come to gym at 5 AM.  She’d never understand how Tenten was always so hyped up in the mornings…

The other girl jumped onto the bike next along and began pedalling energetically, clearly having no problem kicking her butt into gear. Sakura envied that. She just wanted to crawl back into bed… and preferably her own, this time. Her cheeks warmed up at the memory of last night and she began to pedal, trying to distract herself. She’d woken up at four that morning, somehow escaped Ino’s death grip, and hightailed it to the gym. It was just easier to ignore your confusing feelings about your best friend when bench-pressing 50 kilos…

“So, Temari and I are gonna go to the movies next week.”

Sakura snapped her attention to her friend and after a moment, smirked as the words sunk in.

“Really? Like a date? Finally.”

Tenten blushed and slowed her crazy-fast pedalling to a normal speed. Tenten had met Temari in a boxing match, and had promptly fallen in love after getting her ass handed to her during the match. Sakura and Ino had accompanied her on the mad journey to find Temari’s work – achieved largely thanks to Ino and her freaky talent for finding people – and Tenten had introduced herself and congratulated Temari for winning, and the rest was history. Their only problem came in the form of two over-protective brothers…

“Well,” Tenten wiped her face with the towel, muffling half of her sentence. “-since her brother’s tagging along.” Sakura stopped dead, staring at the other girl, her mouth slightly open and eyebrows drawn tightly. “Hang on- that’s hardly fair! He must be mad- What are you going to do?”

Tenten shrugged and leapt off the bike, stretching and yawning widely.

“I figured I’d invite you and Ino- that way I have someone to talk to if it gets too awks.” She grinned and tugged at her ponytail. “So? You’ll come? I mean, it’d be kind of bitchy for you not to- I guess Ino would come, though. Or Hinata. Or even L-”

“Tenten! I’ll come.” Sakura sighed, too tired and swept up in her own thoughts to deal with Tenten’s motor mouth. The girl could talk your damn ear off when she wanted to. Tenten cheered and grabbed Sakura’s arm, tugging her off the bike and towards the weights.

“Thanks so much! It’ll be fun, I promise, and you’ll love Temari once you talk to her properly- and we can get all our favourite snacks- and maybe her weird brother will get over himself- ooh, and guess what movie we’re seeing?”

\---

“Hey- yeah, Tenten called me just then! So you’re gonna come? Mmm… oh, good! Yeah, her brothers are weird, huh?”

Ino squished the phone between her cheek and her shoulder, freeing up her hands to tweak a flower arrangement. The bell on the door tinkled and she glanced over her shoulder and grinned at the men who walked in before ducking into the back room with a giggle.

“Sorry Hinata, I’ve gotta go- your favourite person’s just walked in! And brought a very fine specimen with him…”

She quickly hung up and threw her phone into her bag before swinging around the door, beaming. “Heya, Naruto!” She leant over the desk and extended a hand. “And whoever your gorgeous friend might be.” The friend in question didn’t react to the comment, just simply glanced at Naruto, who was smiling brightly.

“Hey Ino! Flower chick! Yeah, this is my buddy Sasuke. D’ya remember him?”

“Uh…” Ino, glad to have the chance to stare at him, studied his pale, handsome face. “No, I d- hang on! Yes, I do!” She couldn’t help but grin widely as she recalled the first time she’d met him. He had come to their senior formal as Naruto’s plus one, and wowed the entire school with his cool attitude and tailored clothes. Sakura and Ino had bickered about who was going to talk to him first, and when Sakura finally won the argument… Ino burst out laughing at the memory. “I remember now! We thought you were the hottest thing we’d seen that whole year. And- and Sakura went to talk to you and fell on her face!” Ino’s giggles died as another memory surfaced suddenly- Sasuke and Naruto in a corner, strangely close, at the after party- but she banished it. Whatever that was, it didn’t matter. This was the perfect opportunity for Sakura’s next date! She would love to catch up with her biggest childhood crush, and Sasuke could loosen up and have some fun with the most gorgeous girl in the city.

Naruto snickered at the recollection as well, but suddenly quietened at a glance from Sasuke. Sasuke’s face hadn’t changed expression whatsoever, but his dark eyes seemed cold and unamused. Ino smiled thinly, suddenly uneasy, and returned to her flower bench, pretending to tidy up while she thought of a way to ask what they wanted. Thankfully, Naruto saved her.

“Sorry, Sas, I got distracted. We came for a bouquet of flowers! Two.” He held out the two bunches, smiling almost apologetically. 

Glad for the something to do, Ino took the flowers they had picked out and began to make the bouquets. “For who? What colours? What kind of wrapping? Do you want ribbons?” She glanced over her shoulder, eyes wide in curiosity. “Are they for your girlfriends?”

“No way! I’m a single pringle-”

“And what about Sasuke?”

Naruto laughed, and patted Sasuke’s arm. “Why, you interested? Sorry, Ino, there’s only one blond in Sasuke’s life, and that’s me! We’re visiting my mum. She always expects flowers from me, and Sasuke’s just a gent, so he brings flowers too.”

Pleased with the answer, Ino smiled, and began to wrap one of the bouquets slowly _. Only one blonde, huh? Lucky for Sakura, then! I know she would be happy to go on a date with him. But how to get him to agree to meet her?_ She tied a ribbon around the flowers and curled it, biting her lip. There had to be something… She finished wrapping the bouquet and laid it to the side, listening to the two men murmur. _They’re obviously super close. And I’ve known Naruto for years. So if I get Naruto to agree to come along…_ An idea suddenly came to her as she turned to get a ribbon, and she beamed, giving herself an imaginary pat on the back.

“How long is Sasuke in town for? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages either, Naruto! We should catch up.” She quickly finished the bouquets, then passed them over to Sasuke. Naruto pulled out his wallet- the green, frog shaped one that he’d had since literally grade 2- and handed over the money, a thoughtful pout on his face. “Well,” he glanced at Sasuke before smiling at Ino. “He’s here for a while. He’s on holiday from his fancy university course.”

Ino smirked and took the money, tucking it into her apron pocket. This was working out perfectly. “Well, how about we all do lunch tomorrow? It’s my treat!”

Naruto’s eyes lit up and Ino grinned, certain that this time, everything would work out just the way she wanted.

\---

“You really are an idiot.”

“What? Why are you being mean? Hey, do you think we can convince Ino to let us get ramen tomorrow?”

“I never said I was going, dumbass.”

“Hey! That’s not fair! You’re coming, right? Right?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and decided not to answer, instead staring out the window at the passing city. It was small, compared to where he lived, but seemed… friendlier. The sun shone, and the hard stone buildings somehow seemed softer, and more inviting than the ones back home. Everything was grey and cold where he lived. Even the sky was constantly cloudy and threatening rain. He glanced over at Naruto, humming and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, already having forgotten their disagreement, and allowed himself to smile.

_Maybe it’s just because of him._

There was no real question of whether Sasuke would go tomorrow. He would go anywhere Naruto asked. He just hoped that the vapid woman who had served them wasn’t actually interested in him. It was tiring, having to turn down women all the time. Of course, that didn’t stop some of them. The girls he worked with were ridiculously persistent, especially that redheaded woman, what was her damned name again… He found himself frowning deeply, both in trying to remember the girl’s name and in annoyance recalling her antics. The cake had been the stupidest idea, but the roses took so long to clean up…

“Hey, Sas?”

Sasuke almost jumped, but recovered quickly, and turned to Naruto, bristling.

“What?”

There was a moment of silence, and Naruto frowned at him.

“Geez, never mind, I gue-”

“I didn’t mean to snap.” Sasuke said softly, and Naruto nodded, pouting. It was the closest he’d get to an apology from Sasuke.

“I was just wondering if you actually remember any of my friends. Did ya remember Ino when you saw her? She’s kinda hard to forget!”

Sasuke shrugged, and looked back out the window.

“Not particularly. Like you said, you’re the main blond in my life.” Sasuke cringed a little. Coming out of his mouth, it sound like a line from a sappy romance novel. How had Naruto made it sound slightly normal…? “I remember the girl who tripped. And your friend who liked dogs and laughed at my haircut. That’s about it, though.” Naruto snickered, and made a sharp turn. “Yeah, that’d be Kiba and Sakura… Well, you’ll probably see them again soon, it’s a small world! Or a small town, at least.” Naruto turned up the radio after that, and sung horribly until they came to a small neighbourhood and he swung into a gravel driveway. He stopped the car and turned to Sasuke, looking uncharacteristically worried. Sasuke regarded him with suspicion.

“What’s your problem? Why are you making that face?”

“You are… coming tomorrow, right? You were just kidding before?”

Sasuke sighed and opened the door, then turned back to Naruto with a smile.

“Of course I am, stupid.”

Naruto beamed, and jumped out of the car, and the two of them made their way down the path to the familiar house.

\---

“Well- I’m not saying no! I’m just thinking, shouldn’t we go somewhere nice? You get ramen all the time. Oh- I don’t care if he doesn’t mind, I mind! It’s too early for lunch, anyway, so how about coffee? I know a really good place… oh, hang on, she’s out of the shower- I’ll text you!”

Ino threw her phone down and leapt onto the couch, switching on the TV and assuming a position that screamed ‘I haven’t moved for the past three hours’ moments before Sakura came out of the bathroom in a towel. Ino didn’t say anything as the other girl walked past the couch to her bedroom, but she did turn to squint suspiciously at her back. Sakura had been weirdly quiet since her… ‘date’. Ino still felt a little guilty about that. But today would make up for it, she was sure! And if everything went to plan, Sasuke and Sakura would be totally in love by the time Ino was finished!

Ino lounged on the couch until Sakura reappeared, dressed simply in jeans and a flowery blouse. Ino thought she looked lovely, and told her so before jumping up off the couch. Sakura smiled and tugged at the shirt.

“Thanks, Ino.”

Ino grinned, before suddenly frowning and brushing her hands through Sakura’s mousy-brown hair.

“I just wish you’d do something with this… Won’t you let me dye it blonde? We could be matching!”

Sakura stepped away with a small scoff.

“Yeah, of course! Uh, no. I would look terrible with blonde hair.”

“Whatever.” Ino flounced off to her room before turning back around, trying to keep her voice light so Sakura wouldn’t catch on to her plan. “Did you have plans for today? We should go for coffee.” She watched as Sakura walked to the kitchen and rifled through the cupboards, her eyebrows drawn. After a moment, she turned back to Ino and nodded.

“Yeah, sure. We don’t have much here for breakfast, anyway.”

“Good!” She ducked into her room, calling over her shoulder as she went. “Give me 5- no, 10 minutes, I need to wash my hair- and then we can go!”

Sakura smiled knowingly, and sat down to flick through a book. 10 minutes in Ino-speak meant closer to half an hour- she knew from experience. It had been awkward between them lately, but she was certain that a coffee and breakfast with just the two of them would soon right things. Sakura figured it was because she thought she was mad about that stupid date. While she had been angry about it at first, she was angrier about how she’d felt lying next to Ino under the covers, tangled up with her. How her heart had leapt and confusing thoughts had arisen. Sakura screwed up her face and glared at the words on the page, forcing the memory away. Ino was her best friend, and that was it. They had been friends since they could walk. She was not going to let something like this ruin a friendship like that.

\---

By the time Naruto actually found the café Ino told him to go to, he had about a thousand missed calls and angry texts from her, and Sasuke was stony-faced and seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else. Of course, he could be really excited and had just forgotten to make the right expression. That’s just how Sasuke was- he felt so much that he didn’t know how to handle it and how to express himself. That, and he had resting bitch face syndrome. You could tell if he was actually mad by his eyes. His usual warm, careful gaze could become bitter and full of a cold fury within seconds. Naruto snuck a glance at his face and gulped. Alright, things weren’t looking good for him here either…

He coaxed Sasuke out of the car and found Ino (not difficult, as she was standing up and waving and attracting stares) and they made their way in. Naruto beamed at Sakura. Sasuke glowered. Ino laughed nervously. Sakura stood up, surprised and delighted.

“Naruto? You’re back? And- oh, gosh, I’ve forgotten- Sora?”

“Sas-”

“It’s Sasu-”

“Come on, Sakura, don’t you remember Sasuke?”

Sasuke shot Ino and Naruto a dark look, then murmured something under his breath and sat down. He glared at the menu, half-heartedly listening to all the fuss of the three behind him. He knew that girl. He knew that stupid look. He knew that her lively eyes would be on him. And he could guess exactly what this Ino had in mind. Girls were all the same. He hated girls.

The others took their seats, Naruto and Ino chattering noisily and inanely, with the other girl occasionally weighing in. Sasuke tuned in for just a moment to hear Naruto’s loud suggestion of ramen-flavoured coffee, and rolled his eyes. Really, he did love Naruto deep down, but he could be such an idiot. Though he was sure he could deal with the constant stream of nonsense from the blond man if were just the two of them, drinking lattes and sharing a cake because Naruto knew he didn’t really like sweets… Sasuke blinked. Ino was asking him something.

“Sasuke? Hey, earth to Sasuke! What do you want?”

“Oh. Matcha- green tea. Let me give you some money.”

Ino waved a hand. “No, no! I said I’d shout. I’ll be ba- hey, Naru, d’ya wanna carry the tray for me?”

Naruto jumped up, ever enthusiastic to lend a hand, and Sasuke gave a long-suffering sigh. They’d been with his parents for all of yesterday, and Naruto had made plans with just about all his friends for today too. He just wanted the stupid blond to himself for a bit. That was why he came up here, after all, not to have senseless coffee dates with people he didn’t care for nor remember. He was so caught up in his sulking that he almost jumped when he heard a voice.

“Sorry for forgetting your name before.”

Sasuke turned to look at the girl. She was smiling apologetically, not looking at him. He considered not answering- he knew she was simply trying to start a conversation. But an Uchiha man was always a gentleman, even when he didn’t want to be. Resignedly, he turned towards her.

“There’s no need to apologise. You couldn’t be expected to remember.”

She giggled, and he fought the urge to roll his eyes. _That wasn’t funny, stupid girl._

“No, I suppose not- you’re not from around here, after all. Not to be rude, but… Why did you come back? Do you have family here?”

Sasuke felt a sharp pang in his chest at the words, but he forced a small, polite smile onto his face.

“Something like that.”

Hopefully that was enough to shut her up for now. Surely she could see that he wasn’t interested-

“You’re on break, right? What are you studying at university?”

“Psychology.”

“Oh, wow! Do you want to be a counsellor?”

Sasuke wanted to punch something. Why would this girl not give up? And what the hell was taking Naruto so long?

“No. A criminal profiler.” He glanced down at the table, and spotted something that all of a sudden, zapped the anger from him. A staff card for the hospital, sticking out of Sakura’s tacky cherry-blossom purse. _Is that the hospital that..._  His heartbeat sped up, and he looked back to her face, alight with curiosity. He swallowed heavily. “You… Do you work at the hospital? With the patients?”

“Um… Yeah.” She gave him a strange look that he didn’t care to decipher. He’d never been particularly good with expressions. “Yeah, I work with all the patients. Mostly writing up reports for the doctors.”

He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Naruto flopped back into the seat and passed his drink to him.

“Here ya go. Sorry about the wait, the machine was being cleaned…”

Sasuke took the tea and sipped, muttering a thanks, ignoring the fact that it was too hot, needing something to distract him from his racing thoughts. _If this is the hospital, and I’ve found him…_ He glanced up, and met the reflection of his dark eyes in the window. _If it gets me the answer I need, I’m prepared to do anything. Even spend more time with this vapid girl._

\---

“He asked you to dinner?!”

Sakura winced at the pitch of Ino’s shriek, but grinned giddily at her in response.

“Get out of town! No way! And the very next day, too! Oh, wow! You’d have to have a long-distance relationship, but they can work out! Ooh, and I have to be a bridesmaid! And you can honeymoon in Hawaii- and your kids are gonna be so cute- and-”

“Ino!” Sakura cried, tossing a pillow from the couch at her, laughing in disbelief. “Calm down! Don’t you think you’re planning a bit far ahead? It’s just dinner-”

“At the fanciest fricken restaurant in this entire town!”

Sakura blushed deeply, and smiled down at her phone screen, where the message was displayed clearly. She could barely believe it. The most gorgeous, polite, and smartest man she’d ever met wanted to take her to dinner. Even though she’d tripped in front of him at their first meeting. Even though she’d asked too many questions and probably bored him half to death. He wanted to take her out for dinner! She couldn’t contain herself anymore- she rushed to Ino and squeezed her tightly, squealing excitedly. Ino returned the hug, laughing happily.

_It worked out! I knew I could do it!_

When they finally broke apart, Ino immediately began to tug Sakura over to her room.

“Okay, listen. That Sasuke is a total hottie, and he’s super hard to impress. You have to wear something of mine- he’s gonna be blown away!” Sakura hesitated and pulled back, doubt written across her pretty face.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to look stupid. Besides… if he liked me today when I was wearing super plain clothes, then surely I don’t have to dress up.” She looked pained. Ino rolled her eyes and squeezed Sakura’s hand.

“Come on! You want to impress him, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“You want him to want you, right?!”

“Yes, but-”

“You want him to think you’re the prettiest girl in the goddamn world?!”

Sakura sighed, but couldn’t hide her smile.

“Yes.”

“Then have faith in me! Now, hurry up and shower, and leave it all to me!”

Ino went to her bedroom and immediately began to flick through her wardrobe, tossing clothing around her room and muttering to herself.

“Hmmm… no, no, no. Definitely not! Too revealing, she wouldn’t wear that. Too prudish- why do I even own that? Ugh…”

At the back of the closet, something caught her eye. She moved piles of clothing aside and pulled out a small, tattered box. The lid was covered in dust, and Ino’s eyes watered as she brushed it off. She pulled off the lid and threw it to the side, lifted the soft material inside gently, and let out a quiet gasp when she realised exactly what she’d found.

There was a thin, delicate white blouse, with silky pink blossoms painstakingly hand-sewn onto the pocket and lapel, and a pleated skirt in the loveliest shade of baby-pink, and a dainty hairclip with real shards of diamond and tiny white blossoms. Ino lay the outfit gently on the bed, and brought a hand to her mouth, feeling her eyes well up with tears. On the eve of her 18th birthday, Grandma Yamanaka had lain in a hospital bed, on life support, and called Ino to her in that kind, feeble voice. She had given her a beautifully wrapped box, and told her not to open it until the next day, so she could see her granddaughter on the day she became a woman dressed in the outfit she had been creating for her since she was born.

Ino lifted the clothing lovingly, remembering how she’d spun in that tiny, claustrophobic hospital room, and how they had shared a cake, and how Grandma had thanked her for spending the day with her, rather than out partying with her friends. How that night, Grandma passed away, holding a single silken blossom, with a serene smile on her face. How Ino had buried the dear little box and its contents at the back of her closet, because it hurt too much to remember.

She didn’t realise she was on the ground, sobbing, until Sakura rushed in and held her, begging to know what was wrong and what she could do. Ino shook her head, and wiped her nose on her sleeve, laying the outfit down and gesturing to it, her voice too thick to speak. She heard Sakura’s sharp intake of breath, and knew if she looked at her, she would start to cry again. She stared at the ground instead.

“Ino… this is-”

“I know.”

“I…”

“I want you to-” She growled and wiped her nose again, before forcing herself to turn to Sakura. “To wear it. I don’t- Don’t think it would fit me anymore, anyway. ‘M too tall.” She smiled tearfully at Sakura, who pulled her into a fierce hug. She took the clothing carefully, reverently, and went to her bedroom to change. Ino sniffled one more time, then bent down to find matching shoes, cheering herself up thinking about how beautifully the pale pinks would suit Sakura. _Grandma Yamanaka would be proud. She was always preaching about selflessness and helping people._

When Sakura was dressed, Ino curled her hair and did her makeup, carefully matching tones and palettes far better than Sakura herself could ever hope to. When she was done, Sakura barely recognised herself in the mirror. She hugged Ino, and thanked her millions of times, and kissed her cheeks, ecstatic, and prayed and prayed that nothing would go wrong tonight. And when Sakura went out the door to her taxi, waving cheerfully, Ino watched her best friend go to meet someone who might steal her away, and felt a familiar ache in her heart that she’d been ignoring for as long as she could remember.

\---

Sasuke was waiting just inside the door, talking calmly to a waiter, when Sakura walked in. She blushed and ducked her head when she saw him. _He’s wearing a suit and tie! Maybe this is too casual…_ She touched the flowers at the lapel, and reminded herself how hard it was for Ino to let her wear this. She was not going to feel underdressed. She looked up at Sasuke again to find him gazing warmly at her and her heart almost stopped. She had thought him handsome before, but now, with that soft smile and kind eyes… _Wow. Seriously wow. How does Naruto even know an Adonis like this?!_

The waiter lead them to their table and Sasuke pulled her chair out for her, and waited until she sat to take his own seat. She felt fluttery and light-headed. Nobody had ever treated her like this. Sasuke gave her another small smile, and she grinned dazedly back, before glancing up as a waitress came past with a bottle of chilled champagne. Sakura’s jaw almost dropped open when she saw the label.

_Dom Pérignon? That’s like… $200!_

“I hope you like champagne.” Sasuke said smoothly, as the waitress poured them both glasses. Sakura nodded, too shocked to speak. Sasuke gestured to the menu. “Order whatever you’d like.” Sakura opened the menu, and almost choked.

“Sasuke, these- nearly everything is over $100! I’m so sorry, I can’t pay for this-”

“You’re not.”

“You can’t be serious. No way. I can’t do that to you.”

“Sakura, my father’s company owns this restaurant. There’s no need to worry. Order whatever you want to.”

That answer stunned Sakura into silence, and she quietly perused the menu, then ordered the cheapest salad she could find, not wanting to be greedy, even if Sasuke himself wasn’t paying.  _This is completely unreal. There’s no way this is happening. Maybe I’m dreaming…_ She surreptitiously pinched her leg, and winced. _Nope. This is real. How is this real?! Ino’s not gonna believe this!_

Their meals came quickly, and as they ate, Sakura couldn’t help but quiz Sasuke on his family, his courses, and anything about him. Despite his short answers, she felt flush with the attention, and time seemed to pass far too quickly for her liking. She almost didn’t want to take her last bite, if only to prolong this perfect dinner. However, after their plates were cleared, Sasuke made no move to leave. Instead their glasses were refilled, and he arranged for desserts to be brought out. As they waited, he pinned her with his dark gaze.

“How did you like your meal? It was to your satisfaction?”

“Yes- yes, of course. It was delicious. Thank you.”

“Tell me about your work at the hospital. Do you find it difficult?” He seemed to find the words hard to say. “Do you… Work with the mentally ill patients?”

Suspicion started to blossom in Sakura’s mind. He was oddly fixated on the patients, but upset while he spoke about them. Suddenly, the penny dropped. _Oh my god. He has a family member in there. But- surely not, not for such a rich family. Our tiny hospital? It seems unlikely…_

She was glad when the desserts came around, and selected a few, needing a distraction. She took a bite of a curious green cake and chewed slowly. _I don’t want to offend him, but if he wants to know, then I suppose he can handle it._ She finished her mouthful, and met his eyes steadily.

“I work with all the patients. Um, we’re a small hospital, so I have to. We don’t have many mentally ill patients but…” His eyes had taken on a strange look. Pain, curiosity, anger, fondness. “I write their reports. And sometimes distribute medicine. I don’t-” _Now or never._ “I don’t think there’s anyone there you would know.” Sasuke blinked, and his eyes had returned to that blank look he’d had yesterday at the shop. She instantly regretted her words, and made to apologise, but he held up a hand to stop her.

“No need. I’m sorry. I get swept up in things sometimes. Please, eat your cakes. They’re delicious.”

Sakura finished quickly, feeling like the mood was spoiled, and ashamed that she had been the one to do it. Sasuke must have picked up on the atmosphere, as he stood, and took his jacket. Sakura gathered her things and followed him to the door, hating herself for ruining the picture-perfect night. As they left, many of the staff waved and called out to them cheerfully, and Sasuke sent them all back that gentle smile that she had thought, for a moment, was hers too.

\---

The trip in the car was awkward, and it bothered Sasuke. He had found that dinner with the girl really wasn’t as painful as he’d first thought it would be- she was considerate, and grateful, at least, and she seemed to take sincere interest in his life. He could see she was a selfless, kind girl, but she was also extremely boring. The only thing that had really struck his curiosity was how easily she had seen through him when he asked about the hospital patients, though he supposed she often dealt with concerned relatives. She must have gotten good at it. He sighed quietly and turned to go the long way, figuring he could still get the information he needed from her. He was in the midst of plotting how to begin the conversation when he heard her clear her throat delicately, and glanced at her. She smiled gently.

“Sorry. Um, so.” She cleared her throat again. “Was there someone in the hospital you wanted to see? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shut you down like that.”

“Stop apologising.” Sasuke said flatly, and noticed her droop slightly. There was no point in keeping up the game. The sooner he got his answer, the sooner he got back to Naruto’s. The sooner he could stop feeling bad for stringing this girl along. “Itachi Uchiha.”

“Your-”

“Brother.”

Sakura shook her head. “No, sor-” She cut herself off. “I don’t know the name.”

Sasuke didn’t reply, and he was glad when the apartment Sakura lived in loomed in front of them. He was tired of this false politeness. He wanted to see his blond. Sakura opened the door and went to step out, but stopped just before she did and turned to look at him.

“Will I see you again?”

Sasuke could have laughed, but it wasn’t really funny. It was terrible, and he felt awful. He was turning into his brother- manipulative, cruel, and selfish. He had to stop this now. He met her eyes and tried to make his face kind.

“No, Sakura, you won’t. And I… Regret that I have to say this to you. There really is only one person that I can have in my life, and that is not you. You are a compassionate, intelligent woman. I believe you could achieve incredible things.” Was it possible to look proud and devastated at the same time? Sakura was managing it. “But you base yourself on those around you. You don’t show your true face. I can see an amazing young woman behind your mask- you’re only hurting yourself by letting people think you’re plain and dull and complacent. When you dull your personality, your dull your looks, too. To put it simply, you’re bland. You should do better.” Her eyes were wide and angry. It was time to finish this. “I thank you for a pleasant night, and I hope you enjoyed your meal. And I hope you can understand. Good night, Sakura.”

She glared at him for a second before taking a deep breath, and gracefully stepping out of the car. “Thanks.” She said quietly. He could hear the tremor in her voice. “Good night.” She shut the door and walked away. He could see her swiping at her eyes. He watched a moment to make sure she went inside, and then he pulled out and headed to Naruto’s, and didn’t think of her again.

\---

Sakura slipped inside the door and tiptoed through the house. She choked her tears back, and stopped herself from throwing her shoes at the wall and screaming. She wouldn’t wake Ino. This wasn’t her fault. She crept into the bathroom and opened the cupboards, shoving products out of the way until she found two bottles of bright hair dye at the back. She remembered buying them with Ino for a dare that she hadn’t gone through with. Because she was dull. And bland. And complacent. She clenched her jaw, and grabbed the bottles, scanning her eyes over the instructions and slowly grinning.

_Let’s see how fucking dull I am with bubble-gum pink hair_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooooo everybody!!! i would like to say to a huuumongous thank you to everyone reading this! this chapter took a ridiculously long time to write, as you can tell. and i think this is my longest chapter for a fanfic. wow. i tried to keep it at a more manageable length, but Ino wouldn't let me! she wanted a scene all to herself, and then sasuke wanted lots of screentime, and Naruto demanded a big part..... my muses control my life. alrighty, thanks for reading, all my love! tell me how you felt abt this chapter in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed!  
> this is (meant to be!) a funny and lighthearted fic, but of course has a little angst. i mean, would it even be written by me if it wasn't angsty? eek...  
> also- heh- i don't claim to know anything about japan, so this is set in good old 'konoha down under'! i know nothing about japan's schooling system and barely anything about my own country's, so yeah, while i've kept names etc for obvious reasons, this certainly isn't set in japan.  
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed, new chapter should be up at some point, yadda yadda :)


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